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4月3日发放作文题3

本周练习 [size=4][b]第二类作文题类型为：支持反对型[/b][/size]    即通常为 [b]Agree or Disagree sth[/b]



                 [b][size=5]   这周的Topic: [/size][/b][size=4]Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?[/size]
[size=4]                      [/size]
[size=4]                     Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. [/size]
[size=4]                     Use specific examples to support your opinion.[/size]

继续跟帖~~~~正在提速中
It goes without saying that "It is the televsion that begins the new page of the human history."It is not exaggerated to say that people without televison are like flowers without sunshine" .However here goes a heated debate on the issue of whether the television exerts nagetive or possitive impact on people's lives which has aroused a wide pubilc concern . A multitude of people are forever living under the illusion that the television had destoryed the communication among people.From my personal angle alone ,nevertheless , the television had far more possitve influnce on our lives rather than destroy the relationship among people.

First and foremost , it is the television makes the people's lives more wonderful and colorful. It is undeniable that television plays a paramount role in molding the attitude and behavior of people in modern society. Due to the introducation of the TV , people are capable to have opportunity to get the valuable information from advertisements , such as the fascinating costumes for the growing appetite of needs for fashion among young adult , the latest and most functional technology devices such as the mobile phones and iPod players , the palatable potato chips and fruitful drinks and the list will go on . In this way people can have more chance to exchange the various attitude towards the trend of stylist and fashion, discuss the experience of using the e-production and share feelings of attempting newly introduced snacks from advertisements on TV . As a result , we can safely draw a conclusion that not only do the TV prompts the economics of society , but also makes a higher living standard of people and enhance the communication among people.

The above is only part of the picture , besides TV sometimes develops the relationships between people ,rather than demolishes them . In recent years , the heavy burden of working and fierce competition in lives lead people start to suffer from the serious stress and depression and begin to diminish the communication with others . Nonetheless, thanks to the entertainments and recreation offered by TV, it is becoming a daily routine for people to watch TV .They can get relaxed and share the precious time to watch the favourite programs with their family members . Furthermore people can be more talkative when they have difficulty in finding topics at dinner tables because of the interesting plays showed on the screen intrigue their discussion. So we can see that TV can promote the communication among people.

Certainly we should not neglect the downsides of the television , for it results some problems both on individual and society ,such as the children are the of physical exercise and have high risk of being fat ,too much attention have been paid on famous figures’ private lives , and sometimes the exaggerating adversitments induce the improper attitude and behavior .But nothing can be compared with the merits and positive impact on our lives . So it is high time we changed the wrong attitude towards the TV and make every effort to get rid of the problems caused by TV , so that our lives would become more convient and fasinating.

[[i] 本帖最后由 hustla 于 2008-4-5 17:43 编辑 [/i]]

hun ~~这么长说的比作文还好

有这么恐怖马?写作文也想不到这么多句子

It is not exaggregate to ?
动词可以这样用么?

yepyep, maybe it should be exaggerated...

再写一篇，呵呵

Television has destroyed communication among friends and family.
                     Use specific examples to support your opinion.
It is not rare to see that family members sit together in front of a television set after dinner. Some people insist that popular issues in a TV program are perfect topics for friends and family members to have a gorgeous conversation, which, to some degree, promotes communication between them. The idea is strongly opposed by people who hold the opinion that television occupies so much time which was expected for communication and endless arguments would subsequently arise. From my perspective, I totally agree with the latter idea.

No issue is more crucial than the reason that time used to watch TV is constantly thought to be time-consuming. Family members who earn the bread for the rest are so hectic that they hardly have any time to communicate with others in a family but a short period after dinner. However, such a precious time for promotion of relationship in a family is probably dissipated by watching TV. As the time goes by, relationship within a family may decline and cause incongruity, which is considered as the rudimentary element to hold a family as a whole. Therefore, time used to communicate instead of watching TV is beneficial not only for unionization within a family, but also helps children enjoy a healthy growth.

Long-lasting argument is another head and chief reason I choose to put here. To give as a demonstration, I have a closely friend named Jack who always complaint that his tranquil life is occasionally interrupted by arguments for TV program plots, such as who is the most handsome actor in a TV series, or whether the end of a story is reasonable. Usually, ideas about those issues may fiercely contrary to each other and no one would recede until a controversial provokes. Thus, it does much harm to the development of relationship within a family.

Though watching TV causes a multitude of problems, it has its own merits. Popular issues, talked between father and son, mother and daughter, provides great opportunities to enjoy a hilarious conversation which definitely promotes communication between them. Say, Joy and Ritual, characters in American TV series Friends, have become prevalent topics after a day’s work.

Though the advantages TV programs enjoy are considerable, it cannot compete with the benefits that lead to, when the two main reasons me3ntioned above are taken into considerable. Some people may still remain unconvinced, the reasons I have analyzed could at least make them more aware of various dimensions of the issue under discussion. In fact, it would be better if time occupied by TV programs could be used in a half to communicate with family members.

自己都觉得写的很烂，特别是在看了前两位的之后~~~，思维也很混乱:Q ，本来觉得很好写的题目，怎么就写成这样了~~~崩溃了！辛苦老师了！
Obiviously, nowadays, television is playing a significant role in our life, from which we get information, obtain knowledge, and entertain. However, we can not ignored, simultaneously, television generate an obstacle of communication among friends and family.

First and foremost, intercourse among members of family become less due to television. TV set appears within most family for development of econology. According a recent survey that almost 80% families in the world whose main enjoyments are watching TV. Their first action who arrive at home is turn on the TV set and endlessly watch television series until going bed. They have no conversation except content of television series, even some of them who know the development of television series but fails to say which grade their children is. The emotion among family members will be demonished as times go on, which maybe give a bad influence on mind and physical health of children.

The above is a part of the picture, beisdes watching TV excessively is not only a time-consuming thing, but ruin friendship. In modern society, there are cluster of people who spend most of their free time sitting or lying on the sofa watching TV alone, called “couch potato”. And most youth still live under the illusion that television programs could offer them much more useful information but no shortcoming and believe that “couch potato” is a fashional style of life. However, they do not take notice of times which they use to converse with friends is decreasing and they have no idea with that what are their friends’ occupations and where their friends live now. If they can do without the dubious merits of gaining massages from watching TV, they will swiftly find chatting with friends what also can get news what they wat and that is really wonderful and meaningful thing.

Nevertheless, if we watch TV under control of time, it still a good way that we obtain information. Obviously, it is high time that people should change their method of watching TV.

[[i] 本帖最后由 yoyo 于 2008-4-4 00:28 编辑 [/i]]

My point is disagreed with it

During the past decades, over 80 percent of the world has connected with Television, which has changed our lives dramatically. Some scholars deem television as a matter which destroyed the communication among friends and family, others consider it has become one of the essential topics in everyone’s daily life, as a contrast. Being an adult who has grown up with the developing period of television, I always believed that television is not the most crucial reason in our lives that destroyed everyone to communicate with each other.

Most fundamentally, the programs from television which everyone could watch at the same time, gave us the same topic which we could discuss together. Then it became a conversation that activates the communication with friends and families as a result. In fact, many families would have conversations from television which often gives them a way to naturally talk into work and study without awareness. My family, for instance, talk during dinner time which mostly from the programs of television that regularly are about discoveries, daily news and soap operas, and consequently talk about how is my study or how the project going on in my parents’ office.

Additionally, with the development of computer which is one the greatest inventions in the 20th century as well as television, friends and particularly family members became no longer talking with each other since they primarily concentrate their minds on their computers, which is the critical problem of communication currently, not televisions. So people, on the other hand, would rather talk with each other during the time they watch television, which is much less than they used to be because the computer dominate the largest amount of their time. My brother Hanker, also the best friend of mine that he used to be, is now not play games and watch film with me anymore which are the things we did usually for the reason that all he is focusing is which computer games should he choose, how could make his computer perform better or who he should talk to on the internet which is another major reason that people do not communicate by face-to-face. For now, he only talks with me when we were watch television which is the few time that we could sit together eating food.

Television, as a conclusion, would not be the reason that people do not talk to each other because television programs showed everyone the same theme which they may all interest in then become a topic that everyone could participate even though most people would not talk during they watching, while on the other side, the main reason is the change which is gradually growing that computer brought to us especially in the current world.


耗时近40分钟,454 words,检查过拼写及语法

麻烦大家

[[i] 本帖最后由 hys17 于 2008-4-5 18:26 编辑 [/i]]

相信大家都看了[color=red]最新一期的公告[/color]，大家提交作文也很积极。

对作文互评的开展方式我说明一下：周五，六，日为提交作文的会员互改。
举个例子[size=4][color=darkorchid]3楼[/color][/size]先改[size=4][color=darkorchid]2楼[/color][/size]的，[size=4][color=darkorchid]4楼[/color][/size]改[size=4][color=darkorchid]3楼[/color][/size]的，[size=4][color=darkorchid]2楼[/color][/size]改[size=4][color=darkorchid]4楼[/color][/size]的，
如果改好之后还可以改你感兴趣的那个楼的作文。

星期一到三是我们学习区的来改。希望大家互动起来~

我也来写点, 大家不用给我留面子

老看别人的文章自己也来写一篇, 忽然发现自己原来眼高手低, 写完一数还不到400字,感觉作文还得经常写啊!, 感觉写的太简单了很多,都是没经过大脑凭感觉就写上的. 前两段都是曾经背过的段子, 所以很快就写完了,一回头发现写的很烂啊! 懒得改了!平时都是我给大家拍, 今天轮到我挨拍了!  大家不用留情
The world’s first television set can be traced back to nearly 80 years ago, when Farnsworth, an American inventor, televised a motion picture to people. On that day the world changed. You have to admit that this device has directly influenced the way of people's communication whether you like it or not. Generally speaking, it is rather superficial to simply say that television has destroyed communication among friends and family.
`It is true that watching television too much do harmful with people’s relationships. It has becomes one of the most powerful means of communication in the history. Sometimes people prefer watching TV at home to hanging out with friends and our families. We all have only 24 hours a day and it is clear that the more time we spend on watching TV, the less time we does with our families and friends. Hence, the passage printed in the newspaper or magazine titled “Television took my husband away.”
Although watching TV too much causes a multitude of problems, it still has some positive and crucial effect on developing the relationship among friends. Some popular TV shows, like [i]Prison Break, Friends[/i] and [i]Desperate Housewives[/i], provide a good topic when friends meet each other. For instance, I often say, “Hi gays, have you seen the latest show of [i]Prison Break[/i] this week.” as my ice-break. Then I have a easy and wonderful communication with my friend. You see, the television is working.
In addition, some educational and wonderful TV programs do a significant role in the family. Basically it can give the family an opportunity to sit together to enjoy the happiness family time. I vividly remember when I was a little boy, I watched a drama named Growing pains, one of the most successful TV shows of American in china, with my family every week.  We watch the TV show with laughing and eating the food which was cooked by mother. And we get some educational experience from the TV at the same time. I do love the moment, not only because the TV program is great, but also I stay with my family.
In conclusion, I think although watching television may do some harm to people’s communication, most impacts exert by the television are desirable and beneficial.. Therefore, I can hardly agree that television has destroyed communication among friends and family.

[[i] 本帖最后由 qifeihu 于 2008-4-5 05:57 编辑 [/i]]

回复 11# 的帖子

Grammatical mistakes:
It has becomes（become）....

have a（an） easy....

television is working(It will be better to replace "is working" by works)

the less time we does with(get along with) our families and friends

do（play） a significant role

We watch the TV show with laughing and eating the food which was cooked by mother. And we get some educational experience from the TV at the same time.
Maybe it should be :
We watched the TV show with laughing, ate the food which was cooked by my mother, and got some educational experience from it.

most impacts exert...
the impact exerted by.......is.....

回复 11# 的帖子 小改一下 错了还请包涵，呵呵

感觉楼主太喜欢用do 去加强语气，一是感觉重复用让人感觉句式单一，而是有些地方用的不太好。比如，It is true that watching television too much do harmful with people’s relationships。应该是do harm to,如果是harmful，前面也少助动词，感觉很别扭。 It has becomes one of the most powerful means of communication in the history应该是it has become吧，还有这一句完全不支持论点，你是说电视占用交流的时间，但是这一句是说电视是最有力的交流工具。, the passage printed in the newspaper or magazine titled “Television took my husband away.”应该是was titled吧。Although watching TV too much causes a multitude of problems, it still has some positive and crucial effect on developing the relationship among friends. 你是想说明电视的好处吧，那么用a multitude of problems就不合适了，而still some 去修饰positive， 也是力度不够。可写成Although watching TV too much causes some problems, it has a multitude of positive and crucial effects on developing the relationship with friends.有关prison break的例子很好啊:) for instance太低级了，换一个吧do a significant role in the family个人感觉用play更地道一些。在家庭中起着重要作用是什么意思呢？ We watch the TV show with laughing and eating the food which was cooked by mother. And we get some educational experience from the TV at the same time. I do love the moment, not only because the TV program is great, but also I stay with my family.
后面感觉有点简单了，尝试改写一下哈
Enjoying delicious food, we watched the TV show, from which I obtained various kinds of knowledge, in an cozy atmosphere full of laugh and jokes. It is a fantastic moment when I immersed myself in the inviting TV program and enjoyed a harmonious relationship with my family members.
I think although watching television may do some harm to people’s communication写成Although watching television, I think,  may do some harm to people’s communication最后应该是exerted吧，这个我不清楚

回复 2# 的帖子

第二段改一下， 感觉不太顺畅
Due to the introduction of TV, people are capable to enjoy opportunities to get valuable information from various kinds of advertisements, such as fascinate costumes designed to meet the need of people’s growing desire for fashion, the latest and most functional technology devices such as mobile phones and iPod players, palatable potato chips and healthy drinks and the list will go on. So we can safely draw a conclusion that not only does the TV prompt the economy of a society, but also makes a higher living standard of people.

嗯 多谢宝贵意见 我早上写的太快 很多地方欠斟酌啊 呵呵 晚上回来在和大家讨论
事实证明, 作文不可以跟着感觉走啊 哈哈  果然写的很烂呵呵 竟然用了这么多do
写这篇文章才用了15分钟大家不要学我啊 文章要保证质量 大家使劲拍 使劲改 我晚上回来仔细看

回复 12# 的帖子

谢谢宝贵意见 别忘给别人改啊
期待你的大作....我也要给你狠拍 哈哈:lol

拍下8楼~~~有不对别打我啊
有些话可以少用逗号,尽量利用短语衔接组成长句,如第一句"Nowadays the television has been playing a significant role in people's lives , from which not only can we obtain the useful information ,but aquire the knowledge and entertainment as well.
第二段中"TV set appears within most family for development of econology"写成这样好些..."TV set comeing into most families is an inevitable result of the skyrocketing development of economics."
第三句没有谓语,"...survey showed that.."..."go to bed"..."...children are"
第二段挺好除了拼写的小错...整体挺不错(仅代表个人意见...)

回复 11# 的帖子

呵呵短时间写出这样的文章还真不容易。
比较同意 13楼liaochen 的部分观点。

如Para2
`It is true that watching television too much do harmful with people’s relationships. It has becomes one of the most powerful means of communication in the history. Sometimes people prefer watching TV at home to hanging out with friends and our families.
头两句话放在一起前后逻辑不对。可以改为：Although TV has become one of the most......,watching too much time / Exposure ourself in the front of TV set reduce our time with family.....

个人例子给的太多了，导致文章的主观性太强。如花大篇幅写prison taking.
结尾力度不够，有种匆匆收场的感觉。

回复 14# 的帖子

你改的第二段想要说明什么？是要说明现在媒体手段多吗？这样作为another supporting para并不能很好服务于文章中心。

意识到第二段问题进行修改,原文已改~~


First and foremost , it is the television makes the people's lives more wonderful and colorful. It is undeniable that television plays a paramount role in molding the attitude and behavior of people in modern society. Due to the introducation of the TV , people are capable to have opportunity to get the valuable information from advertisements , such as the fascinating costumes for the growing appetite of needs for fashion among young adult , the latest and most functional technology devices such as the mobile phones and iPod players , the palatable potato chips and fruitful drinks and the list will go on . In this way people can have more chance to exchange the various attitude towards the trend of stylist and fashion, discuss the experience of using the e-production and share feelings of attempting newly introduced snacks from advertisements on TV . As a result , we can safely draw a conclusion that not only do the TV prompts the economics of society , but also makes a higher living standard of people and enhance the communication among people.