查看完整版本: 大家帮忙改一下这篇作文谢谢了

大家帮忙改一下这篇作文谢谢了

How is your generation different from your parents' generation?

In today’s society, generation gap has been frequently mentioned to explain why conflict happened among our parents and us. Actually, to some extent, generation gap is only an excuse to evading that question. What we really require to learn is the difference between these two generations, which would be an indispensable foundation to solve the conflict problem.

Firstly, our generation is better educated than our parents’. The whole society now regarded education as a great construction almost in every country. Companies provide high salary to employees who have higher degree or overseas education background. In this type of situation, young generation receive better education in order to adapt to the competitive environment.

Secondly, our generation is more adaptive to new technology. Let take the internet for example, as a high-tech product, internet seems more popular among young generation. We are able to use internet to acquire information, to entertain ourselves and also to make friends online. However, our parents are just willing to spend a few hours working with that unfamiliar tool, some even without that. Instead, they prefer to gain information through newspapers, television and to make friends in normal ways. That is to say, they are more conventional towards new technology.

Thirdly, our parents had encountered more hardships than we did. That is mainly because the different society and environment we grow up. In their generation, the society seems not as stable as we are today. Hardship was part of their life, sometimes they even had to endure starvation or chilly weather. Therefore, they understand how hard life was really is and they also value today’s life more than we did.

In a conclusion, according to the environment we grow up, our generation is better educated and more adaptive to new technology. However our parents have encountered more hardships than we did. In my opinion, if we could learn from each other in a modest attitude, we will certainly benefit a lot.

回复 1# 的帖子

个人愚见：
1.文章开头和全文内容有一定出入， 看了开头我以为lz要论述如何解决代沟问题，而lz全文只是论述了两代人的不同，并没有写两代人之间的矛盾如何解决。
2.分论点1缺乏例子和分析，稍显单薄。
3.文章语言可再修饰一下，还存在一定语法错误。

框架逻辑非常清楚，分数低不了

语言细节方面多注意一些

回复 3# 的帖子

青蛙哥哥吧! 下次来着批贴记得用英文批啊! :lol