Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
Read Sample writing

最近练习中间段，感觉实在没东西写。。痛苦。。。
挣扎了一会，炸出其中一段，大家给点意见和帮助，5，31号考，作文很头疼，怎么办啊。。。。还有救吗。。痛苦。。大家都怎么提高作文。。痛苦。。特别是内容上
The first reason to support my opinion is that it is technology that present us a large amount of information to help us with our individual learning fields. As we know, we live in a world where knowledge is accumulated by multiplying and at the same time becomes more and more specialized, which make us have no other choice but depend on computer and internet to attain what we want and enlarge the scope of knowledge. For instance, when a college student get a project concerning the habitat of baboon, firstly, because of the internet, they are able to google the background information about baboon, including relative papers, pictures and videos, go through and conclude them to work out his/her own deep sight of the subject. Accordingly, without the internet and computer, what an arduous work for students to obtain the affluence of the information they need.

先互相批改，从中学习：
http://www.xiaomaguohe.net/bbs/v ... =page%3D1#pid120923

作为中间段,楼主还是写的不错的,语法错误很少,结构现明,例证充分,句子也有不少high-level的句子.
几点意见:楼主例子,还可以再detail一些,比如For instance, when my roommate XXX who is a college student get a project concerning the habitat of baboon. he.....   这样更具体
ETS考官很喜欢personal experience 和 更多细节的example.我们寝室的同学的TOEFL成绩单上关于独立写作的评语充满了 please give more detail or example/you only developed your idea partly 之类的评论(他实力挺强的,但作文才2.5 总成绩90就独立作文不好) 更detail的example显得更真实有说服性.也更显示你的写作功底
然后,后面的firstly太突兀,因为后面直接就Accordingly了,有了firstly就要有secondly...
才符合逻辑,建议去掉firstly.  
总的来说没有楼主说得那么惨,但是只是中间段,期待楼主的完整部分,期待楼主给他人批些作文,不要害怕错, 每个人都有有缺点都有长处.

[ 本帖最后由 qifeihu 于 2008-3-21 02:09 编辑 ]

看起来楼主是因为缺少写作思路(观点)而犯愁

提高作文的方法有以下几个（我用过的 不知道你适不适用）

1、 研读旧185题库我范文  虽然是过期题库但是范文还是有利通价值的  可以给你很多sub point和例子 建议你先将185题分类 按照分类看 寻找 universal sub point  把你自己总结出来的universal sub point记下来 最好是背  同样的 选择一些漂亮的开头段和全文的写作条理布局 记下来   平时积累材料
2、 材料积累后就要开始融汇贯通了  按照分析 现在est几乎在重复机经  那么机经的作文题目就相当有价值  从机经中抽一题出来 分析题目的目地 把你之前背过的u.s.b 经过恰当的组织后写下来 有几个写几个 即使是有一点沾边的也想办法组织进来  最终写了多长不是重点  也不要怕花时间  你平时多一些这样的训练  有助于你将之前的材料记牢并且可以穿插适用 不同要求的题目要求的相同点把握住  
3、临考2周 2天写一篇 抽机经的题目 那时候一般有预测出来了 也可以用预测的题目  按照考试要求和时间完成写作  在电脑上边打边想  总之模拟正式考试的状况 调整自己
4、练习时用写字板打  完成后再复制到word里面纠错 请记住 ibt考试界面没有纠错功能 而评卷官的系统上纠错功能超过word  因而平时要将常见的错误避免
5、考试时最好要留5分钟检查 毕竟还是可能有语法错误和拼写错误 那就要靠你练习时候调整的时间分配

预祝考试成功