ps： 大家 说说 能的几分么？（我不怕打击 ...）

我看4分左右，
当然有些地方改进之后。
你用的一些词和例子还是蛮有新意的capture rater's eye.
但是结构上不是很清晰，其中internet就是一个很重要的supporting detail而不是说I also have to mention that 。。使其重要性一下降下来。
one of the most remarkable change in technology in recent years is ,,,,可以这样写。

继续，另外conclusion 最好另起一段，使结构清晰明白。

还有一些语法错误：如ancient是形容词，可说ancient time
sb challenged by....缺少了动词，应当说sb is challenged.
总的说来，文章如果注意以上几点，应该可以得到那个分数甚至更高也有可能。

谢谢 大家 .. 我 也在 互改 ing

我的作文:

Recently, there is a hot issue about whether technology creates new problems for human being or solves them and makes our life better. An increasing number of people believe that technology will exert great positive effects on human history, this opinion is now being questioned by more and more earth residents, who complain that the technology have brought many serious problems like environment pollution, technical crime and others. Personal speaking, I stand on the side of the first opinion, that is technology do great help for our society development.

One of the significant aspects is technology obviously improving our living standard in varying degree. Turn back for thousands of year, just imagine that what kind of life when human without electricity, car, cell phone etc. which is undoubtedly can’t compare with modern life in twenty century. It is technology that brings about such enormous changes to us.

In addition, technology greatly save our product cost, reduce the consummation of human power and increase efficiency. According to a recent survey, the producing amount of our farm food in china in the recent years is two times than the world total sum in 1800. The majorities of people who live in modern technology society can worry less than before about hunger and disease. No technology, we can’t realize this gorgeous dream.

However, there is no denying the fact that the development of technology might have contributed to some of these contemporary problems while it devotes us untold benefits. Especially our environment pollution is becoming degenerating, for example, green house problem harass us for a long time. Reduced forest and extinct animal are always remind us should pay more attention to environment problem. Any government, which is blind to this point, may pay a heavy price.

In conclusion, technology is the first power in society development, which is essential in our daily life. It is indisputable that all of us strongly need it to make our life better. However, proper measures must be taken to limit the harmful effects of technology.

请猛烈地批判我吧!!!

It’s difficult to judge whether technology is good for students nowadays. Everything has its merits and demerits. Incontrovertibly, the new technology can make our life easier and students can learn more information with the help of it, but it also brings many problems for us.
   Since the creation of World Wide Web in 1989, the Internet has become the most influential invention in the recent history. I’m sure all the students are familiar with computer an Internet. We can find any information we want to know with the help of search engine. There are many kinds of information on Internet. A number of pages contain irrelevant and false information. You should spend extra time on finding the valuable information. It’s a time consuming task. And some pages relate to even violent or erotic things. If your self-discipline is awful, you will sink. Furthermore, the growing number of Internet addiction among teenagers is a serious problem. The pressures of exam and various discomfitures in life cause many students lose self-confidence. To seek the success in fictitious world, they spend much money and time on it. Some students who are hopelessly addicted to Internet cannot continue their course. The Internet consumes their limited life. In 2006, the press reported that a girl, only 17, committed suicide because her parents prohibited her from surfing on Internet. In a nut shell, if we cannot apply technology rationally, it will have tremendous negative effects on teenagers.
Most important, students excessively rely on technology without thinking and exploration will miss much fun of seeking the truth and knowledge. For instance, most of students will use calculator to figure out equation. It’s an easy way to solve the problem. However, you will lose a chance to experience a brain-storm and exercise your logical thinking.
All in all, the negative effect of technology for students is an inescapable problem. It is good for us if we use technology rationally. In this way, we can learn more information; however, prevent us from relying on it.

我写的这个不太对题,不过属于这类的

先指出语法错误：
earth residents 什么意思？地球人吗？residents就可以了。
who complain that the technology have brought many serious problems like environment pollution, 这里technology是单数名词，谓语用has..
Personal speaking应该为personally speaking

结构上的问题“
两个supporting para 的段落中心句都有问题：
(1)One of the significant aspects is technology obviously improving our living standard in varying degree. 这句做这段中心句太general,你明白吧。去掉in varing degree.

(2)In addition, technology greatly save our product cost, reduce the consummation of human power and increase efficiency.
应该为：.......greatly reduce the cost of daily products and consummation of human power, increasing the efficiency.

generally speaking ,文章写的还可以，语法和结构上没什么大问题，
但是your position in this essay 出了问题，第一段应鲜明亮出自己的观点，我是看完全文后才知道的。