科技使世界变得更美好了吗？ The ever-accelerated updating of science and technology has boosted the people’s living standard to an unprecedented extent. However, its side effects are destroying the environment step by step. Does technology virtually made the world a better place? The answer is clearly yes, although some people claim that the modern technology has exert an undeniably detrimental consequence on the environment. Firstly, it is technology has made the people's daily lives more convenient, efficient and more effective. Owing to the modern technology, we can travel in the air, even in the universe. Owing to the high-developed technology, we can drive a car faster than our voice. Owing to the technology, we can travel through the ocean from one country to another. Hardly can I imagine all of these hundreds of years before. Moreover, we can have easy access to a huge amount of information and knowledge on the Internet, compared with our counterparts did in the past, only by reading books can they gain the knowledge. Secondly, it is technology expand the people’s life span. Not only because of the rapidly developing medical care system, but also can be attributed to the continuously advancing food condition. Certain diseases such as tuberculosis and dysentery are now easy to remedy with low expense, but in the past they are probably lethal. In a word, less diseases we suffer, happier we feel, healthier we are and thereby longer we live. Last but not least, it is technology makes the communication among people more interesting and fascinating. In old days, people kept touch with each other through letters which must be sent by postmen or pigeons. But the situation is totally different now, if we want to find a person; we just need to call a certain number by using the telephone or mobile phone. Admittedly, there is no doubt that technology inevitably brings about unquestionably deleterious consequence on the earth. This can be aptly exemplified by the holes in the ozone and global warming, not to mention the nuclear accidents, toxic waste and extinction of spices. But the new invention and technology are making up these mistakes in an environmentally friendly way. Therefore, after taking into the above reasons which closely interwoven with each other to bolster my point, the merits of the technology considerably overshadows the risks.
也许写得不是很好，希望给些建议，最好是在20天内就能做到的东西

1  新来写作区的会员请先读一下写作区公告http://www.xiaomaguohe.net/bbs/thread-11126-1-1.html
2  TOEFL作文的结构要求向北美学术文章靠拢和四六级不一样, 楼主首先要有明显的段落逻辑结构, 学术论文主要分 introduction,   Main body ,  conclusion 三部分楼主 有关如何谢学术文章可以参考我签名的连接.
3  楼主字数不够,还不到300 , 拿难那高分的 根据戴云教主的黄金法则: 字数 the 多 the better
楼主的文比还是不错的, 不过还是希望重新组织一下, 然后在扩充一下, 关于TOEFL作文的要求建议楼主看看OG, 如何看, 请点击我签名的链接. 然后再发上了, 让大家给你看看.

科技使世界变得更美好了吗？
The ever-accelerated updating of science and technology has boosted the people’s living standard to an unprecedented extent. However, its side effects are destroying the environment step by step. Does technology virtually made the world a better place? The answer is clearly yes, although some people claim that the modern technology has exert an undeniably detrimental consequence on the environment.
        
Firstly, it is technology has made the people's daily lives more convenient, efficient and more effective. Owing to the modern technology, we can travel in the air, even in the universe. Owing to the high-developed technology, we can drive a car faster than our voice. Owing to the technology, we can travel through the ocean from one country to another. Hardly can I imagine all of these hundreds of years before. Moreover, we can have easy access to a huge amount of information and knowledge on the Internet, compared with our counterparts did in the past, only by reading books can they gain the knowledge.
     
Secondly, it is technology expand the people’s life span. Not only because of the rapidly developing medical care system, but also can be attributed to the continuously advancing food condition. Certain diseases such as tuberculosis and dysentery are now easy to remedy with low expense, but in the past they are probably lethal. In a word, less diseases we suffer, happier we feel, healthier we are and thereby longer we live.

Last but not least, it is technology makes the communication among people more interesting and fascinating. In old days, people kept touch with each other through letters which must be sent by postmen or pigeons. But the situation is totally different now, if we want to find a person; we just need to call a certain number by using the telephone or mobile phone.

Admittedly, there is no doubt that technology inevitably brings about unquestionably deleterious consequence on the earth. This can be aptly exemplified by the holes in the ozone and global warming, not to mention the nuclear accidents, toxic waste and extinction of spices. But the new invention and technology are making up these mistakes in an environmentally friendly way. Therefore, after taking into the above reasons which closely interwoven with each other to bolster my point, the merits of the technology considerably overshadows the risks.

[ 本帖最后由 htylss 于 2008-4-10 20:59 编辑 ]

我又发了一下，上次是直接复制的，也没看清为啥没分段。