Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

30’ 330
When it comes to the issue of the purpose of earning money, people in the different phrases of life have diverse opinions. Youngsters may prefer to enjoy their money as soon as they earn it, while middle aged people would like to stock their income for future. I believe that both choices have their own advantages and shortcomings, and therefore people should pick different strategies up in diverse phrases of life.

As young people who have vigorous energy to consume as well as produce, they have affluent interest to spend and even use this money to produce more money and enrich their experience also, which will be a precious treasure for them in the future. For example, a young man is able to use the salary that he has earned from his routine work to invest stock market. And if managed well, interest will return as a present to his wisdom. Then he can apply this money to travel around the world and make friends with people in other countries and perhaps some of them will become his business partners someday.

On the other hand, as the main problem for middle aged people to face is not to gather experience and fortune, but to maintain their health, the aim of earning money should be saving money for the unexpected situation in the rest time of their life and money is supposed to be used to improve their health condition. For instance, middle aged people can spend more money in exercising. They can buy an exercise card in a stadium and keep doing sports everyday which is conductive to prevent diseases and maintain excellent spirit.

From my point of view, judging from the evidences provided, I think it is safe to draw the conclusion that due to different situations of people in diverse ages, they should adopt different options. Young people should enjoy what they earn as they like and middle aged people have to save money for the future.


改后 400
When it comes to the issue of the purpose of earning money, people in the different phrases of life have diverse opinions. Youngsters may prefer to enjoy their money as soon as they earn it, while middle aged people would like to stock their income for future. I believe that both choices have their own advantages and advantages, and therefore people should employ different strategies in different ages.

As young people who have sufficient energy to consume as well as produce, they have a variety of capabilities to make profits and even use this earning to make more money, and also, enrich their experience, which will be a precious treasure for them in the future. For example, a young man is able to use the salary that he has earned from his routine work to invest stock market. And if managed well, dividend will return as a reward for his wisdom. Then he may buy a laptop and open a net shop on some website and gain profits from running this business. Or he can make use of this sum of money to travel around the world and make friends with people in other countries and perhaps some of them will become his business partners someday.

On the other hand, since the main problem for middle aged people to cope with is not to gather experience and obtain fortune, but to maintain health, the aim of earning money should be saving money for the unexpected situation in the rest time of their life and money is supposed to be used to improve their health condition. For instance, middle aged people may spend more money in exercising. They may buy an exercising card in a gym and keep doing sports everyday which is conductive to prevent diseases and maintain vigorous and quick-witted. What is more, a majority of middle aged people have married and reared at least a child. As a result, they have to deposit certain amount of money to their account for the family and their offspring as well.

From my point of view, judging from the evidences provided, I consider that it is safe to draw the conclusion that due to different situations of people in diverse ages, they should adopt appropriate options accordingly. Generally speaking, young people should enjoy what they have earned as they like and middle aged people have their money saved for the future.

para1.
enjoy their money 改为enjoy purchasing goods and...

para3.
since the main problem for middle aged people to cope with is not to gather experience and obtain fortune,....
改为tend to maintain health....instead of challenging new experience,for example, changing a new working environment ...

整体看来思想性可以。这应该属于问题分析型。分类讨论的确是个好策略。看了一下结构，句子没有细看，只提出一些我觉得要改的句子如上。