说得没错,感谢拍
这次风格变动太大,不知道这样写效果如何

小王子说的对，大家可以参考royi版主的那贴

回复28# 的帖子
多谢多谢
还是有不少错误呵
有进步?
呵呵 下次尽量再少犯些错,,,,,,  
SAY还可以举例子呵~~又学到了哈


你说的第三段的那个句子 我是PEOPLE做主语
三个句子AND 连接并列
这里有语法问题啊? 该怎么改呢那

[ 本帖最后由 wuhao5217195 于 2008-4-26 14:26 编辑 ]

Life grasps right away like a song , rhythm from composing person. Some people are deeply in love of leisurely melody , their lives choosing slow pace. While on the other hand, a few people has been accustomed to song of using fast pace to compose self life. As for me, I totally be the latter.I believe that the fast pace means create priorities efficiently and hold opportunities observantly.

Create priorities efficiently! I believe that the time of life is short. I believe that the way of life is long. So, I try to do everything in a hurry and make each moment efficiently. I never know what may happen next second, but I know what may be done this moment. In addition, a great life doesn't happen by accident. It's the result of allocating your time, energy, thoughts and hard work towards fast and efficient means, instead of just comfortable ends. We have to create priorities through the faster pace. There is no better time to start now.

Hold opportunities observantly! No issue is more important todays than the one refers to hold opportunities. Who doesn't want to succeed? How can we become successful? Only use a long time to prepare yourself for opportunities, but doesn't catch the opportunities' steps you can not success. The advent of opportunity depends upon speed. When being hurried  a habit, you will have a bigger chance to hold opportunities obserbantly, and vice verse, haste and lazy make you lost more.

There's no perfect thing in our lives! Choosing fast pace also has its own disadvantages, for example, you may take more mistakes in the fast process. Nevertheless, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. We should pay more attention and caution with the fast pace hand in hand. I believe I can do so, and all of us can do so.

In the final analysis, I have thought it would be an excellent rule to live each day as if we should die tomorrow. Such an attitude would emphasize sharply the values of life. We should live each day with a vigor, and a keenness of complete everything we can do.
又来晚了，明天就考试了，今天头昏昏沉沉的写完这最后一篇作文吧，考前的。。。嘻嘻，本来就有限的复习时间，还被我浪费在了医院3天，大家帮帮我吧，祈祷我可以明天幸运些呵呵。。。谢谢咯。。。

[ 本帖最后由 melissa_lee 于 2008-4-26 15:01 编辑 ]

Life grasps right away like a song , rhythm from composing person. 我功力不够啊……第一句就没明白结构~

but I know what may （be）done this moment.
这一段有些句子之间加点连词是不是能觉得比较连贯呢？比如A great life doesn't happen by accident. 的前面。
No issue is more important todays than the one refers to hold opportunities. 这句话的语法是不是有点不对？than以后的。
Only use a long time to prepare yourself for opportunities, but doesn't catch the opportunities' steps. You can not success. 这两句话应该是连在一起表达意思的吧？放在一句里面应该能更清晰的表达意思哈。When (being) hurry(ied) become  a habit,

Choosing fast pace also has its own disadvantages, such as (后面一般用列举并列事物，举例的话还是，for example 或者for instance吧~)you may take more mistakes in the fast process. (例子可以举的更具体~个人的经验是具体例子容易表达而且也表达的清楚)

There has been a controversial debate about the topic that whether people should live life at a slower pace. Some people oppose to leading a slow pace life because they note that human beings should struggle to develop themselves constantly in order to survive. However, on the other hand, others’ opinion which I cannot agree more shows that it is better to enjoy most of the things in life and therefore slowing down paces is a sound life style.

Firstly, once people are not urged to do things like making decisions, more time is available for people to think since thinking is a significant activity of human being. There are always someone saying that think twice before do it, which means careful mental process is fundamental to following actions. At this point, I note that people don’t have to rush to do everything but think over the situations and the possible consequences before taking action. For example, when people have to make choice, cautiously balancing the benefits and flaws is critical. When I plot my future career, I have to confront the problem that whether I should go abroad for further education or I just hunt for a job and lead a simple life. Different choice leads to different following actions. It actually took me a long time to decide which is my preference and finally I decided to go abroad. Then, I began to be in all the necessary process of going abroad including preparing for TOEFL and GMAT.

Secondly, it’s not bad to enjoy life while we spare no effort to dig with study or work, which ask us to live life with a slower pace. I hold the idea that what people should pursue for lifetime is happiness and content rather than status, power or money. Someone may comment that sense of content can be gained from owning higher status, more power and money, however, the true happiness derives from something else such as spending happy time with family and friend, enjoying the nature or traveling, and so on. Entertainment and relaxation, of course, will slow down the progress of developing one’s successful career. Whereas, what is invaluable to me is leading a happy life instead of a boring and tough one. In vacations, I’d like to travel to another place and get more practical knowledge and skill of life.

All in all, slowing down the pace never stand for leading a lazy life. Only if people learn how to enjoy life, they can catch the sense of living successfully and then be motivated to go on studying or working hard.

按照您说的大概改了下，有的不太清楚具体该怎么做。
例如 No issue is more important todays than the one refers to hold opportunities.我不知道该怎样改正。我的语法一直不好诶，写东西都是觉得像这样说就这样说，不会分析句子结构。。。估计是问题多多了。。。

回复 16# 的帖子
多谢你的认真修改，确实指出了很多我没有发现的 问题。谢谢！
还有些感觉有点疑惑的地方，望指教：

1.    这句A large amount of people who are living in the city claim that they are only busy in doing their things can make them more easily obtain success.(句号）
后面那地方感觉不太合适吧，这里that they are only busy in doing their things can make them more easily obtain success感觉不是一个句子吧，望解释下。
2.   应该没有in a favor of 这种表达吧。In favor of !?
3.  表示几分之几时，如五分之四：可以用four fifths 或4 out of 5吧，在网上搜的 是这样说的。好像没有4 out of 5th吧？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？

回复 3# 的帖子
1.As far as I'm concerned, we should slow down for the purpose not only to gain a more healthy body, but also enjoy every minute of the seemingly limit life.
2. People with depression may get sleeplessness, become less appetite, and more seriously harm the heart normal function.
能不能这样写：People with depression may get sleeplessness, become less appetite, or even seriously be harmed on the heart normal function. Rather than work night and day, I prefer to be more relaxed so that I won't turn into depression.
3.Been frightened by this report, I can't take my health as a risk. Rather than work night and day, I prefer to be more relaxed so that I won't suffer from depression.
4.  第三段感觉和我 的初稿似的，有点跑题，呵呵。
5. More important, time is money, someone think that taking a break means dropping the money.
这样写行不：？
More importantly, someone think that taking a break means dropping the money because they hold the opinion that time is money

回复 7# 的帖子
开头那几个问句怎么想出来的，你经常这样用吧，教教我啊 。呵呵，而且审题太准了，介绍下经验吧。
Before I tended to hurry in my reading so that I hardly understand the passages deeply.
In the past, I tended to hurry in my reading so that I hardly understood the passages deeply.

My teacher told me that my quick tempo of reading, to some extent, influence my comprehension.
My teacher told me that my quick tempo of reading, to some extent, lowered my comprehension.

Now I improve my reading skills and obtain high mark in my tests.
Now I have already succeeded to improve my reading skills and obtain high marks in my tests.