谢谢班主任批示。。已经照着改过来了。。。我貌似有点偷换概念的问题，导致文章离题。。以后一定要注意！ 我在有离题可能的地方加了些衔接。。应该会好一点了。。
根据意见修改后：(红色是修改部分，蓝色是添加部分)
The question about taking an easy or a busy life has been discussed for a long time. Some people might enjoy life and get things done then take another thing, while others may just take their time and get easy life. From my personal angle alone, the later point of view coincides with mine. There are two reasons that I will use to support my idea.

First of all, busy life brings too much pressure and harm to our healthy. I have ever been to Tokyo three years ago, where people did everything in hurry. They walked in a speed of 12 km per hour in their suits,fulling of their agendas with a great number of businesses. They even didn't look around on buses inspead of considering their safety issues. In this cittuation it is not hard to understand the survey’s result: over 10,000 people killed themselevs. On the other hand, my travel to Lijiang, a small town at Yunan province of China, gave me a totally different feeling. Not only was I attracted by the beautiful views there, but also moved by their happy lives cosiste of natural singing, dancing and the picture of kids having fun with friends under the warm sunshine while adults reading books or watching movies. Their flower-like smellings tell me how wonderful their lives are. The more imporant is that settlers who live a busy life tell me that they often get ill. It is the easy lives in Lijiang bring them healthy body. Comparing the above two kinds of lives, it is obviously that, busy life is harmful to peoples' healthy.

The second reason I would like to mention is that busy work take our time to enjoy the beauty of life. Staying in a hurry life, more often than not, is keeping in the step of no rest work. People in hurry to get their work done, appointted another work soon after the above one. According to a survey, most people work for making lives while only 0.99% might work just for fun. So the other 99.01% earn money to buy food, to pay car or house, and the most important,to feel the joy of life. Hardly could I lost myself in a great novel with e-mails about business waiting for me in my hotmail box. I even could not dream about a three days’ trip abroad because of so many things need to be done. I have to run faster to pursue after the process of my jobs. So I could not help wondering whether I need to work so hard that no time to enjoy my life? Or I could just earn enough money, staying at home without doing anything. Are these two cittuation have any different to a person who never get the chance enjoy his/her life? Me, personally, I never discover the difference.

In conclusion, I can always take it for granted that easier and slower life is my lifelong choice, which never changed. The life should be of our own, by our own and to our own.

[ 本帖最后由 free_fly_wing 于 2008-5-1 10:23 编辑 ]

回复50楼同学，

1，首先提个小建议，在写作的时候注意冠词的应用，这有可能是因为你想添加复数，但是却在写的时候忘记了。第一，二段和最后一段有这样的现象。

2,还有作文主要要求的是你的观点，最好的方法是把自己的观点放在前面，让读者一目了然，而不是我自己的观点只是捎带而过，应当尽量丰富自己想法的段落，而且越快切入主题越好，因为写作时时间有限，等你将前面铺垫好后，已经时间紧迫了。

3,还有就是应用谚语时，change 'every coin have its two sides' into 'each has its two sides'

继续努力，以上纯熟一些个人观点。

牛牛的观点值得借鉴！

首先表扬你积极的修改作文；
再指出一些不足：
正式写作中一些省略的写法都要写全；
如it's 要写成it is 正式表达形式

蓝色中你改的一句还是有问题：
The more important is settlers come from busy-life told me that they seldom got illness since they moved to the easy-life area.
应该为：
The more imporant is that settlers who live a busy life tell me that they often get ill.

这一句意思不清楚：
I have to accelerate my steps to run after my jobs

谢谢班主任批改，已经用橘色改了
其实第一句是想说那些在busy life里身体不好的人在easy life中变得健康了。。
第二句，就是我不得不加速追赶工作进程。。。

It's a universally acknowlege that "a person's meat is another's poison",which has proved that everything had both sides.Whether to be a person always in hurry or a peson  who consider  that the entainment of  slow pace of life is the utmost thing  depends on their different characters which may be influenced by customary, education and so forth.
There's  no doubt that most of us enduce the increasing presure with the  tremendous development in  curretly society  which cause us develop habit to adapt the fast-pace life.
As far as I concerned,the only way to utilise time sufficient is to enhance the pace as well as the quality which has been awared of .
First and foremost, It's a common sense to live in a hurry and to be always anxious to reach your objects because every minute counts in

需要你先帮助别人改。
具体操作见此贴http://www.xiaomaguohe.net/bbs/v ... &extra=page%3D1

班主任姐姐为什么7#完了就9#了啊？跳过我的了～是因为写的太烂了吗？

当然不会，我重点看了一下你的文章确实有些问题，我一一指出。

Para1
In modern society, with the growth of economy, the rhythm of life is also increases 去掉is
. A recent survey said that there are almost 80% people who are in under-healthy改为sub-healthy condition due to stress caused by the accelerated a去掉a speed of life. Thereby, I’m inclination to an unhurried pace of life.