发贴很积极，初看了一下，的确有些需要改进，主要问题是口语话的东西较多，尽量用书面语替换吧。
不过行文还是很流畅的，看出你应该没花太久时间完成这篇。继续努力

刚来的小马积极批改作文，这很好，
我们的规则是一般楼上改楼下的，你就等你的楼下来改你的作文吧。

哈哈是哦，只用了24分钟，想到什么就说什么了，还有关于口语话的问题，可不可以帮我具体指出？ 因为我不怎么会很正式的语言。很着急

Nowadays, it is a wide debate about the issue that whether university students should learn some basic science knowledge even they are not part of the field of study. Believing that students should learn other basic science knowledge, these people argue that a wide range of knowledge could bring more opportunities in their future. On the other hand, those who think students should study much deeper in the field of the study believe that specialists are more successful in the professional fields.(这句感觉没写完~) In my own opinion, I agree with the former view. And then my arguments for the point are listed as follows.

The most important reason for my view is that the people who have a wide range of knowledge meet the requirement of the modern society. Following the development of science and technology, there is an increasing demand for people who are able to take in a great area at a glance. There is, in other words, a demand for people who are capable of seeing the whole forest rather than the trees, of making overall judgment. So I think it is necessary for university students to understand other basic science knowledge which is not part of the field of their main study.

Another important aspect is that students can have more choice in searching themselves interest if they take certain number of other basic science classes. Many students may choose their major in haste and don’t know what they really interest at the beginning of attending university. If they take other basic science classes, they could find their interest fields(interest是名词，可以那么用吗？) and be able to timely change their major. As a consequence, they can learn in an active way.

All in all, I think that university students should be required to take basic science classes even they are not part of the field of the study, because a wide spectrum of knowledge can not only bring more opportunities to students, but also help them figure out what they really like to do.
最好不要照搬题目的原句，适当改动一下，用自己的话说出来，语法方面的我就看不出来了，我语法太烂了~呵呵，互相学习。我也六月考。

按要求改一下2楼的朋友
确实如版主所说,口语化表达太重,观点很明确,不过其中专门分了一段来讲例子的做法我不能肯定是否有问题,但是就以往的经验来看,还是按照经典的论点-论述-例子的套路来写,毕竟iBT考察是学生有没有具备到北美学习的能力，写学术性论文是有一定的固定格式的

不过语言方面不是一蹴而就的，相信这位朋友是心急没有想到很好的表达方式，随着练习的增多自然会有很好的改善，有些语法错误，请这位朋友自己找一下，相信只要细心还是能看出来的。

论述结构方面，2、3段的论述关系我不是很明白，究竟是递进还是并列，如果是递进的话，建议将第2段插入到第三段中去，原因在上面也讲了。而如果是并列，那么第2段的论述太短以至于让人不能信服这是一个分论点，而且叙述的不是很清楚，无论如何一个分论点都需要一个充分的论述或例子来充实，第3段的论述的说服力感觉不够，因为题目是关于别的领域的知识的，如果你想说这些基础知识对于主修的专业有用的话，那么就应该举这方面的例子，比如你在物理学方面的基础知识帮助你在医学领域研究，而不是像你所举的例子中would not have realized the space if we did not know astronomy，spece不就是属于astronomy的范畴的么。。这样几乎是跑题了，建议在写得时候先写好每一段的主旨词，这样在写得时候就不会轻易写跑。
倒数第二段使用了一下让步段感觉很聪明，增加了字数也使文章更加充实，但是这一切都是建立在前面对于你所支持观点的充分论述的基础上的

提的问题比较多，希望你别介意，很多理论也是在上新东方时所学的，我水平有限，只能将这些理论告诉你，希望对你有用

恩，没关系哦，我会虚心接受的，我在重写改正下，这篇写的有些不够认真，需要改正态度了，谢谢哦。嘿嘿，

呵呵，刚知道规矩，改楼下的习作：

Basic science subjects could enhance students whole qualities (enhance能接双宾语吗？) and benefits(与enhance并列，不能加s) the development of them, however, take (应该用动名词taking) too much subjects, especially those which have no relation with students’ professions, isn’t always a good thing.

First of all, everybody’s energy is limited, no one can afford too much classes. There are lots of major subject classes undergraduates should take, (换成句号，要不加一个连词so或therefore,)even though they do their best, they still, however (感觉多余，前面有even though了), fail to grasp all knowledge. Simultaneously, most of their time that is used to learn major subjects is occupied by other irrelative curricula. As a result, exams of their professional curricula fail. Another deficiency of taking too much class is the fact that knowledge probably can be forgotten because seldom undergrads have opportunities to connect them to life or work. Students who graduated from universities usually work in their professional field(s), whereas knowledge that has no relation to their profession and far away from life (is) initially reserve(d) in their minds and then (is) gradually forget(forgotten).

Moreover, the motive to study derives from interesting, but, there is less probability that students are fascinated to every curriculum. If learning under condition that there is no interesting, the process just only by dedicate with boring and painful (这句不完整，谓语呢？). They don’t learn with their hearts in those classes with an outcome that they definitely fail to passing (pass) exams. Even though they do their best and get a good score (good scores) in exams, whereas, they just study for exams rather than really grasp knowledge. They also forget all of knowledge probably just needing several weeks (感觉有点中国式的，呵呵, several weeks later), or even one week. You ask them answer a question that they did it in last exam, they probably have no idea about it.

Basic curricula, nevertheless, expand not only undergraduates’ horizon and make them know more about the world they live in, but also perfect a view of their life and the world. Take a subject of history as an example. It provides for us a chance (provides us with a chance / provides a chance for us)to recognize how our ancestors lived in prehistory and how the world developed. However, students who take basic curriculum that is out of their profession are supposed to be under the condition that they have sufficient time, or, studying is meaningless. In a word, it is rather superficial to say whether students should take basic science classes including those that aren’t part of their profession or not.

整体上不错，不过语法上需要加强一些，一起加油！

[ 本帖最后由 cysunshine 于 2008-5-10 17:57 编辑 ]

Nowadays, （it is a wide debate about the issue）改成（there is a wide devate)你的句子太复杂了，虽然要用一些复杂的句子，可是不要太有意的复杂化。个人意见，外国人不会这样说话。 that whether university students should learn some basic science knowledge even they are not part of the field of study. Believing that students should learn other basic science knowledge, these people argue that a wide range of knowledge could bring more opportunities in their future. On the other hand, those who think students should study much deeper in the field of the study believe that specialists are more successful in the professional fields. In my own opinion, I agree with the former view.（ And then my arguments for the point ）改成（My opinion )are listed as follows.

The most important reason for my view is that the people who have a wide range of knowledge meet the requirement of the modern society. (Following the development of science and technology改成（Due to the scientific and technologic development) there is an increasing demand for people who are able to take in a great area at a glance. There is, in other words, (a demand for people who are capable of seeing the whole forest rather than the trees,)改成（a demand for the kind of people who have the capability to see the whole forest rather than just a few trees)这样是不是可以留下更深刻的印象？ of making overall judgment. So I think it is necessary for university students to understand other basic science knowledge which is not part of the field of their main study.

Another important aspect is that students can have more choice in searching themselves interest if they take certain number of other basic science classes. Many students may choose their major in （a)haste and don’t know what they really interest at the beginning of attending university. If they take other basic science classes, they could find their interest fields and be able to timely change their major. As a consequence, they can learn in an active way.

All in all,( I think)I believe你用的I think太多了，尽量用i think。。换写其他的，虽然也是简单的词但是表示不一样 that university students should be required to take basic science classes even they are not part of the field of the study, because a wide spectrum of knowledge can not only bring more opportunities to students, but also help them figure out what they really like to do.

1、life-wasting是形容词吗？如果是就没问题了。。如果不是的话应该换一下。。我不太拿的准

2、in my point of view 应该是from my point of view

3、Of course, it is conducive to the study of humanity and philosophy.
      可以改成And, it is.......因为of course 接后文好像有点唐突。。没有什么可of course的感觉啊

4、那个use computer to painting的例子挺好的

5、最后就是觉得，前两个理由不太饱满，可以多一点字数，加一些实际的例子。或者把倒数第二段提到前面来也可以

个人浅见

1. 开头比较吸引人，我为啥老是写不出这种attractive的开头呢，反思啊
2. which including whether the university students should be required to take basic science classes even they are not part of the field of the study because they are useful是不是吧because提到前面就是which including whether the university students should be required to take basic science classes because they are useful even they are not part of the field of the study 更通顺一些，个人陋见
3. but not for the reason that he/she is not smart enough, which is proved by all the current remarkable workers.后面这半句看不太懂哦
4. 第四段which including helping them doing better ，应该是include
5. The problem,nonetheless,still has 是不是想表示the problem still exist呢
6. 最后一句有点别扭，但具体哪里说不太清，可能是两个从句有点修饰不清