还有几天就考了，作文还没怎么复习过，求各位GGJJ狠狠拍，感激不尽~~~~

When it comes to the new plan that a high school will be built in our community, the majority of people argue that it will bring the traffic congestion to the neighborhood, but others see it as a big opportunity to increase the work positions. I agree with the new plan, since so obvious the advantages of building a new high school are that those can outweigh the disadvantages which result from the new school.

Among all the reasons, the most essential one is the convenience it brings to the high school students. For the students in our community, the new school is nearer, which means that it will take less time to go to school. Besides, the closer the school is, the safer the trip to the school for the teenagers is. The students could go to school on foot rather than ride a bicycle or take a bus. On the other hand, the rising number of the high schools offers more choices for the students, it will also less crowded in high school.

Another benefit according to the new school built in our community is that it creates more working chances. The new facility will employ a lot of workers. It is the decreasing of the unemployment rate that represents the improvement of our lives. With the new jobs provided by the school, the workers could earn money for food, clothes, and entertainments to improve their living quality.

Moreover, with more taxes provided by the new high school, the government will have more money to build more public facilities and start more business, which will promote the prosperities of the society.

Nevertheless, there are some drawbacks to start a new high school in our neighborhood. The students and the faculties out of our community may mainly go to school by cars or by bus. Surly will it bring more traffic on our streets.

Considerable though problems that a new high school in our community will induce, it is more beneficial to set up a new high school if the convenience and the working opportunities it brings is taken into deliberation. So I could safely draw the conclusion that I support the opinion that to build a new high school in our community. I also suggest that the government broaden the road to avoid the traffic problems caused by the new school.

lz写得既不像2+1，也不像2-1，这个1写得有点太短了，而且没展开，80：100：100：100：80，那个“1”我个人认为还是应当更充分一些，否则和没写就没区别了。lz的掌控句式的能力不错，不过一句话太长了，会压缩整段的空间，一般来讲，5-6句话才能将一个分论点彻底展开，lz的第二段缺例子和分析，只是给出了论据，有点太单薄了，呵呵

多谢2#的朋友，你一说我也发现我的-1段写得太过单薄，我又将分论点2和-1段改了一下。
Another benefit according to the new school built in our community is that it creates more working chances. The new facility will employ a lot of workers. Such as, teachers, cleaners, guards and managers, as well as the construction workers who will build the school, with so many positions supplied, the unemployment rate will drop significantly. It is the decreasing of the unemployment rate that represents the improvement of our lives. The workers provided with new jobs could earn money for food, clothes, and entertainments to improve their living quality.

Nevertheless, there are some drawbacks to start a new high school in our neighborhood. The students and the faculties out of our community may mainly go to school by cars or by bus. Surely will it bring more traffic on our streets. Especially during the rush hour, the residents are going out the community for work while the students and teachers are coming to the neighborhood for class, it will doubtless cause a severe traffic problem. So heavy the traffic is, that will affect the daily life of the community residents seriously.

[ 本帖最后由 huangjia9876 于 2008-5-12 19:41 编辑 ]