Some people enjoy change, and they look forward to new experience, others like their life stay the same, and they do not change their habits. Compare these two approaches to life. Which approach do you prefer and explain why.

We live in the world which keeps changing quickly everyday, new events and things appear in every minute. People can feel the profoundly changes and innovations at every corner of the world. However, the conflict between modern and conservation appeal an increasing concern among the public. Some people chase changed life, and they look forward to new experience every time. These behaviors are poured ridicule from the people who like their life stay the same, and they do not change their habits. But whose opinion is right? I think we should compare the two idea at very beginning before answer this question.

The change or reform in life in my opinion is an symbol of the development in the world, for example, people at 100 year ago had to use their hand to wash their clothes which was a big burden of women in that period. But after the invention of washing machines came to people's family, women liberated form this tedious and boring activities and had more chances to participated in other kind of job which once belong to men such as doctor. As a contrast, keep life stay the same and do not change their habits mean stubborn, because these people lose a lot of opportunities to feel the new life and enjoy the conveniences which the changes take to them. Thus, form my point of views, coincident with some people is my heartfelt agreement of the idea that I prefer the change in my life and look forward to new experiment.

The decisive reason I want to point out is the fact that chasing new experiment will contribute to the social development. This reason is beyond reproach. We may quote a simply yet obvious instance in the history. Qing dynasty, the last dynasty in Chinese history which once was the most powerful country in the earth, fall behind other countries at nineteenth century because the governor rejected change. As the contrast, almost at the same time, Qing's neighbor, Japan began an profound innovation including learning the technologies and political system from the western countries and made international trades and communication. So we can easily understand the future of the two countries. Qing dynasty eventually overturned yet Japan became an new powerful country in the world. Thus, as the former Chinese president Jiang Zeming says "Keep reforming and changing continuously is the soul of the promotion of a nation".

For us, change and look forward the new experience is the key for the promotion of ourselves especially for the collage students. We may benefit a lot of things which the book can not tell us from the new experiments. May be some new experiments can help us to put ourselves in a favorite position in the job markets. My sister who works in a research center in a university told me a survey that experiments play an more crucial role in the job market than ten years before. Employers usually have a tendency to hire their employees who own more experiments. So is it possible for us to stay the same and keep indifferent with the change which happened every time outside our campus?

Form the evident we talk about, we can safety draw a conclusion that it is better for us to chase change and look forward because change and new experiments have apparently merits for nation and individual. So as far as I am concerned, people can not avoid any change in their life.

上次写了一篇放在这里版主没有看，那时候也有资格让版主看了，这次再放一篇，版主一定要过目啊
自我感觉：这篇比较不好写，这么多字是憋了一个小时写出来的。另外例子不好，他说生活中的改变，我写的是历史上的事情，我再也想不到其他的例子了，请高人启发一下更好的例子。

[ 本帖最后由 小三三 于 2007-10-31 18:13 编辑 ]

可以写网上购物的实惠与方便。例如：你爸思想保守，对网上购物不信任，一直拒绝使用。
而有一次你从网上买了双NIKE的鞋便宜了100多块，从而使他发觉了网购便利。不过貌似这个例子不太好写的说...................

个人认为
开头不够开门见山  第一段就该亮出自己的观点.        
例子好象还好 有些词性错误

the conflict between modern and conservation appeal an increasing concern among the public
有两点需要改进的地方,一个是没有注意第三人称单数加S,另外appeal最为及物动词的时候只有上诉的意思，得加个to,但是当appeal加to的时候,吸引的往往是兴趣方面的好的东西,用concern就不恰当
they look forward to new experience every time   显然这边experience不是经验的意思,所以要加S
like their life stay the same     加个to
compare the two idea           加S
at very beginning                  加个the
before answer this question        answering
is an symbol                         a
100 year ago                       years
their hand                           hands
But after the invention of washing machines came to people's family
这个句子有错误,可以去掉came to people's family 或者去掉invention of
had more chances to participated                participate
in other kind of job            kinds of jobs
keep life stay the same and do not change their habits mean stubborn           keeping
form my point of views              from      view

粗略的看了一下后面,感觉语法错误有点多,而且是很基础的错误...
另外感觉你的用词还是满高级的...
不过用的时候小心点,比如crucial的本身的意思就是至关重要或者决定性了,已经有种most的感觉了,加more感觉上不怎么好...
为什么不说important呢?
还有你经常会漏掉S,不论是第三人称单数后的动词或者是复数...

另外字数有点太多了吧...超过要求的两倍了....
可以适当删减点...
因为你写这篇600字的文章用了1个多小时,你考试中有那么多时间么?

另外开头确实有点绕...

谢谢谢谢 谢谢大家低级错误该插 下次一定改正

[ 本帖最后由 小三三 于 2007-10-31 23:00 编辑 ]

引用:

原帖由 kaka` 于 2007-10-31 20:27 发表
个人认为
开头不够开门见山  第一段就该亮出自己的观点.        
例子好象还好 有些词性错误

因为题目要求先比较，所以就没有在第一段亮出观点。
下次写的时候一定注意

引用:

原帖由 PARADISE77 于 2007-10-31 19:31 发表
可以写网上购物的实惠与方便。例如：你爸思想保守，对网上购物不信任，一直拒绝使用。
而有一次你从网上买了双NIKE的鞋便宜了100多块，从而使他发觉了网购便利。不过貌似这个例子不太好写的说...................

豁然开朗，钻牛角尖了。谢谢

I think we should compare the two idea at very beginning before answer this question 喜欢这句话，收下拉！
我倒觉得组织结构还挺少见的，特别是开头这一句，就是不知适不适用于考试。
但是例子不错呀，第三段虽然是历史，不过历史也算是生活的一部分吧，感觉对比挺好！