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第二篇 求拍 无需留情~~

第二篇 求拍 无需留情~~

The expression “never, never give up” means to keep trying and never stop working for your goals. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

As is evidence in a recent statistic on the internet, the number of business man who succeed with only a coin occupied 40 percent of the people, and undoubtedly has the tendency of increasing. Why so many people get such success? I think the key is that they never give up in their way to success. So, I agree with the statement “never, never give up”. Because I think the never giving up to a person what the foundation to a skyscraper.

No one can deny the fact that the process people stick to their goals is a growing and learning process for them. Take myself for example, there are many difficulties in front of me to preparing this exam. I chose to work hard and told myself never give up. During this process, I found my English had improved a lot.

Another reason that a person could never give up is that only through this way can a person get his goal. Edison, who invented the lights, is a good example for us. He did thousands of experiments, most of which were failed. But thanks to his never giving up, we can have these lights today. If he gave up half way, maybe we are still live in dark in the evening. People should keep this spirit in mind in many aspects. As a student, my sister failed in a math exam. Sad as she is, she began to work hard rather than give up. It turned out that she got the highest score in the next exam. My friend, Lily, who is fat, she insisted on doing exercises everyday, and now she is only 60 kilos weight. Isn’t it good to never give up?

What’s more, during the hard process that people stick to their goals, they can enjoy a lot. And this part of experience may become an impress memory.

From what has been discussed above, we can easily draw the conclusion that people should never, never give up. Only through this way can they get their final goals. And what’s more, it is worth doing that. If more people can do this, I think the society will be full of energy.

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谢谢大家。我自主选择类的文章一直写不好,多多指教~~

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感觉楼主的第一段太长了,或者说第二段太短了

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个人建议第二段可以做一些适当的张开。
如你在准备TOEFL长时间没有放弃,每天做出的努力,英语有了提高。

[ 本帖最后由 givenchyszhang 于 2007-11-4 22:28 编辑 ]

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建议搂住可以使用一些连接词可以使文章跟具有连贯性。


   Additional, besides, furthermore, moreover, above all

等等。


在S.Y. 的讲义里可以找到更详细的连接词分类。

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回复 #5 hys17 的帖子

恩,发现了,谢谢提醒~~

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回复 #7 givenchyszhang 的帖子

谢谢,连接词我确实用的不多,下次一定注意。
第二段的问题我也会注意的。

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