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我写的作文,希望大家努力的给予批评和建议,谢谢

本主题由 Eva.V 于 2008-1-23 20:04 提升

我写的作文,希望大家努力的给予批评和建议,谢谢

Is it better to learn many academic subjects or is it better to specialize in one?
With the society demanding more and more on us, we have to gain knowledge all the time. By doing this, we face more choices during our study. Some people agree with that we should specialize in one subject. However, I strongly believe that we should learn many academic subjects. Learning different areas, we can become knowledgeable, help others when they face difficult problems, and utilize our knowledge in our daily life.

    In today’s world, we face increasingly competitions not only during our study but also in our jobs. In order to win in these competitions, we must push ourselves to gain our ability. Benefiting for our future job experience, we should learn many different subjects. If we only specialize on one subject, we may lose numerous chances. Devote ourselves into these academic subjects, we may become knowledgeable, learn joint subjects, and avoid missing chances. Although specializing on one subject we can accomplish this subject better and acquire more knowledge, we may not get wide knowledge connection. In short, learning many academic subjects is a better choice.

    Helping friends solving their problems, we utilize our knowledge. With technology developing rapidly, most of us may confront difficult questions. If we acquire knowledge in different subjects, we can utilize what we learn to assist our friends. At the same time, we can practice our knowledge getting from books and comprehend those abstract concepts. Therefore, learning different subjects benefits all of us.

   With time goes by, we cannot only spend our time and energy in only one subject. We must exploit our vision in a wide region and utilize what we learn in our daily life. Therefore, we must learn many academic subjects and comprehend them from practical experience. For instance, if we learn two different majors such as history and physics, we can use our history knowledge talking with our friends as an interesting topic and enjoying ourselves. On the other hand, we can use our physics knowledge in our daily life such as fixing a broken bicycle. If we only specialize on one subject, we either lose the chance to talk with our friends with interesting topic or have some problem with our dead bicycle.

   In conclusion, although specializing on one subject we may become more knowledgeable in this subject, learning many academic subjects may be more useful. From different major subjects, we can gain more knowledge, solve our friends’ problems, and utilize them in our daily life helping ourselves cleaning up tiny things.

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gramma mistakes:
gain our ability.-----improve our ability

Devote ourselves into these academic subjects, we may become knowledgeable, learn joint subjects, and avoid missing chances. --------Devoting ourselves........

specializing on one subject ---------specializing in one sub.

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就内容而言,我认为文章不太连贯,你再读一遍是否同感?
鉴于此,可以借鉴一下摸板,增加一些过渡句什么的.

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整体感觉文章逻辑性不强
而且在论据展开时,感觉就像是一句话正着说一遍,反着在说一遍,应该多增加的内容

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