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我的作文,献丑了。

我的作文,献丑了。

写了一篇作文,希望大家不要吝啬意见,多多指教。题目是:
Some movies are serious, designed to make the audience think. Other movies are designed primarily to amuse and entertain. Which type of movie do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support you answer.
谢谢大家了
Since the Lumieres created the first movie in the world in 1894, the development of films has gone through more than one hundred years. As the time goes on, many different types of movies have been produced, such as horrible movies, science fictions, disaster movies. Movies also can be divided by the purpose they were produced. Some movies are made just for amusing the audiences while others are very serious and make audiences to think a lot. The debate of which kind of movie is more popular has never stopped. In my opinion, I prefer the movies which are serious. I will explain my choice by the reasons as following.
First of all, the movie is a tool that can teach us something valuable. Some directors choose some topics related to real historical events, in order to make the people who watch the movie learning something our ancestors had done wrong in the history and won’t make the same mistake in the future. Such as the movie Schindler’s List and Saving Private Ryan, the director Steven Spielberg who is a Jew himself created the movies based on the real events during the World War Ⅱ to make us remember the cruelty of the war, the wrong and cruel treatment Jews received. And he also wants to make the audiences thinking about how to avoid having wars any more and how to prevent having the same cruel thing again.
The second reason is that we can think about our future by watching some serious movies. Most of the disaster movies are not only created for high box-office value but also want to warn us about the terrible consequence we might receive by our wrong behaviors. Many disaster movies express the terrible future led by pollution, unclear wars and so on. The movie Godzilla tells a story that the unclear tests on an island leads to the mutation of the lizards on the island. They came 90 inches high and swam across the ocean arriving to New York. After watching this disaster movie, people would not only impressed by the horrible scenes but also reflect our behaviors. We will change our attitude to environment, resources, and values after watching some serious movie.
In conclusion, movies should not just be created for fun. With the development of the modern society, movies are playing a more and more important role in teaching people about both history and present.
醉笑陪君三千场,不俗离殇

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in order to make the people who watch the movie learning something our ancestors had done wrong in the history and won’t make the same mistake in the future.

in order to.....learning something..... and won't make......
既然用了in order to,后面的两个分句就应该是动词原型形式,
那么应该是in order to.....learn something..... and not to make......



After watching this disaster movie, people would not only impressed by the horrible scenes but also reflect our behaviors.
感觉后面的从句不是一个主语呀,一个是people,一个是movie。。。也不知道LZ到底表达的是什么意思。


还有就是感觉LZ很喜欢用复杂的长句子,其实有时候长句子太多反而影响文章的流畅和逻辑严密性,
一两个点缀文章就够了,我个人是这么觉得。

[ 本帖最后由 PARADISE77 于 2008-1-11 21:34 编辑 ]

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引用:
原帖由 PARADISE77 于 2008-1-11 21:31 发表
in order to make the people who watch the movie learning something our ancestors had done wrong in the history and won’t make the same mistake in the future.

in order to.....learning something.... ...
不是因为in order to,而是因为make导致后边的动词须用原形。
in order to make the people watching the movie learn something meaningful and not repeat same mistakes our ancestors had commited in history.

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呵呵,笔误了,LS正解

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谢谢,谢谢
醉笑陪君三千场,不俗离殇

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