今天下午写了一篇作文，貌似有点儿写超了...希望大家帮助修改...一战写作才15...惨痛啊...不多说了，一共389字，望大家狠批...

Agree or not: Being happy with your jobs is more important than high salary?

Nowadays, more and more people pay attention to an issue that it is better to choose a job with high salary or choose a job you can be happy with it. As far as I can consider it, a high-salary-job is better than a job you can be happy with it.
I have many good reasons for it.

First of all, a job with high salary could support our families. In today’s society, a phenomenon has been more and more outstanding, that is price increase. For that, some people can’t afford the spending of their families than before. A parent worried about their children’s education fees, the taxes and even the daily life’s spending. According to the research, in Chine, 67% people think the price of food is high, 34% people think it is difficult to afford the spending of daily necessities. What worse, 25% students can’t afford the expenses of universities, so they have to give up the opportunity of post-secondary education. If we get a job with high salary, we don’t need to worry about these problems. We can send our children to learn skills they want to learn, we can buy the expensive food and daily necessities, and more students can pay the tuition so that they can go to college and universities. For this, a high salary job is pretty important.

Also, a high salary job give people more pressure, and more pressure will spur us to make progress. Take my father for an example, he have got a job with high salary in the company called Johnson Control, he got a lot of pressure at the same time.
He work late everyday, and he need to study English for communicate with his foreigner yokemate and boss. Now, his English, especially speaking English, have improved a lot, and he also will get a salary increase in the end of this year. High salary gave him tremendous pressure. This, in turn, would lead him make greatly progress. If he gets a job makes he happy with it, he won’t make such a numerous progress. This is why a job with high salary is better.

According to the reasons of family daily expending and pressure lead progress, in my point of view, a job with high salary is better than a job you can happy with it.

...每太看懂2楼要表达的意思...你的意思是说些高薪水是快乐工作的原因，所以两者不矛盾？那要怎么写...

第一段 第一句  最后it去掉。
Nowadays, more ·····you can be happy with it。
第二句也是。

谢谢~语法一向是我的弱项....

一、原文语法问题俯拾皆是，此处不作细节更正。仅指出三点：
1，时态混乱
2，滥用冠词
3，人称混乱
这些都是作为中国人不可避免的早期问题，故无可厚非。但作为TOEFL应试者这些正是要被考察的地方所以不可原谅。

二、一个有趣的问题出现在第一句：
Nowadays, more and more people pay attention to an issue that it is better to choose a job with high salary or choose a job you can be happy with it.
这句话乍一看并无不妥，但实际上有一个极端隐蔽、令非母语人士几乎无法察觉的错误。
词句中的that从句显然是一个同位于从句，其内容是：
it is better to choose a job with high salary or choose a job you can be happy with it.
同位语从句应该满足两条标准
1，一个正确的句子。
2，一个完整的句子。
这句话如果去掉or及后边的内容则没有问题，但是正是这个or部分使句子无法达成标准1。产生认为这句话正确的错觉来自于一个常见表达：
Whether it is better to do sth[A] or to do sth[B]...
那么把whether加上去就解决了么？没有，因为它违反了标准2：whether只能引导一个分句，分句是不完整的，无法充当整个同位语从句。
我想了三种表达来替换这句：
1）Nowadays, more and more people pay attention to an issue of whether it is better to choose a job with high salary or to choose a job you can be happy with it.
2）Nowadays, more and more people pay attention to an issue that what is better to choose - a job with high salary or a job you can be happy with it.
3）Nowadays, more and more people pay attention to an issue, which is, is it better to choose a job with high salary, or to choose a job you can be happy with it?
总之这个错误虽罕见但可以理解，有一定启发作用。

三、下面这个，是基于原文第二段我写的一个你可以称为范文的东西。仅供参考。倘你全文达此标准，作文满分是多少你就拿多少分。
First of all, a high salary job will be greatly supportive to one's whole family in our society today, in which the inflation is becoming an impelling phenomenon to negatively influence our lives. We find ourselves unable to afford those commodities and services we have enjoyed before, and this seems more realistic when it comes to those people who are in the very middle of social stratum, assuming multiple roles that they have to fulfill without any exemption. They have to take care of their children in regard to their education and health; they will carefully reckon their daily expenses out of limited income while allocating part of it as tax to be levied; they are, especially in Oriental countries, to fulfill their filial pieties, in a mixed way involving material implementation as well as mental compensation, to their parents who had fostered them. For them a considerable income will be overwhelmingly appealling than any other aspects a job can provide. In China, according to a survey conducted by China Social Science Acadamy, more than 70% working people in urban area complain their income, and this proportion has been raised for five years in a row. Backed by those inconvenient facts and numbers, along with what I have heard from my relatives, I will have no other options but to focus on searching a more profitable job once I graduate from university.

感觉搂主逻辑有点混乱，用词比较简单。。

5楼的朋友好强...

楼主 I have many good reasons for it. 这句建议换个说法.....
楼主 more and more 尽量少用...

非常感谢五楼的同志...不过我着实没看懂那个语法解析....不好意思....
六楼的同志说得太对了...我的确单词量不够....
谢谢七楼的同志~

共勉 共勉

第一段的As far as I can consider it感觉就不像地道的英语，也不直对不对，个人感觉。。。
第二段For that, some people can’t afford the spending of their families than before也很别扭啊； What worse改为what's worse;
举父亲那个例子那段时态，单复数好多错误； lead him make greatly progress 少了to
最后一段：and pressure lead progress,中应该是leading