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各位小马,这是我的第一篇作文,帮我看看吧

各位小马,这是我的第一篇作文,帮我看看吧

Important as is knowledge, it has a variety of resources, such as knowledge out of the books and that come from the experience one has ever had. It is generally accepted that most of our basic skills are gained from experience; however, from my point of view, I believe that knowledge absorbed from the books are far more of great importance, for we live in a world where is virtually permeated with information and knowledge beyond our experience, and the convenience of the modern facilities such as public libraries, school reading rooms enable everyone to view books of all aspects.
Knowledge gained from experience is necessary for the forming of our fundamental skills. From the earliest periods of our life, we have studied the way of walking, speaking, and even playing with our friends by rich experience. Without the precious experience, we can not become an independent human being. For example, it is reported that once an infant baby, whose parents were both idiots, was placed into a pigsties and raised with other small pigs till she was four years old. After found her, people discovered she was totally lost the abilities of talking and eating in common ways, by virtue of her lack of experience. On balance, we can not ignore the huge effects of the knowledge from our daily and usual experience, which accumulated from our birth to our death. However, the importance of the knowledge originate from different sorts of books outweigh them.
Nowadays, our world is prevailing with advanced and changeable knowledge, and we are ready to get all kind of knowledge at any time. Thus, how to find a good way to make use of these knowledge is a vital issue for all of us, such as students, scientists and officials. Books, on this point, came up to show its values. For example, leaving out the assistance of books, I can not do well in this examination, for the books concluded all the possible mistakes and problems student will have, so that I can easily discover my own insufficient and revise it. Moreover, as the development of the libraries over the cities and the countryside, in every corner of our country, we can find a comfortable and bright place surrounded with books in plenty and in diversities. Therefore, to stay in a campus library with air conditioning, and reading some history books that were required by one of your assignment essay is definitely a better choice than other methods.
In one word, absolutely, there should be necessities for us to acquire knowledge from experience, such as some basic skills like walking, talking and swimming. Another more primary source of knowledge comes from books, which is the key factor for our obtaining the useful information we need everyday, and not need to say, to get knowledge from books is a more convenient way.

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辛苦各位,帮我改改啊,这是第一篇,我自己今天修改时,无从下手,觉得好痛苦,希望大家帮帮我啊。多多批评。无比感谢

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After found her, people discovered she was totally lost the abilities of talking and eating in common ways, by virtue of her lack of experience.
改为:after finding her,.......
Where there is a will, there is a way.
Classification作文版引导
5月15日作文题9

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理由还需强调一下,使得主次分明!仅供参考
Where there is a will, there is a way.
Classification作文版引导
5月15日作文题9

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你指的是最后一段要强调吗?

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大家帮忙提点意见啊

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我也觉得好象理由不够充分,没有主次分明的样子.

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好的,能不能具体点说啊 ,或者可否给我改一部分,这样我会明白怎么去改,
说得太笼统,我一头雾水。
万分感激,跪地拜谢!!

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呵呵,才看见作文批改的帖子,挺好的,我会努力给别人改得,虽然自己也不怎么好。

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Important as is knowledge, it has a variety of resources, such as knowledge out of the books and that come from the experience one has ever had. It is generally accepted that most of our basic skills are gained from experience; however, from my point of view, I believe that knowledge absorbed from the books are far more of great importance, 观点一for we live in a world where is virtually permeated with information and knowledge beyond our experience, 观点二and the convenience of the advanced modern facilities such as public libraries, school reading rooms enable everyone to view books of all aspects.
Knowledge gained from experience is necessary for the forming of our fundamental skills. From the earliest periods of our life, we have studied the skill of walking and speaking (by uncountable times of practice and constantly fault-making, which can hardly be getting from reading the books.) Without this precious experience, we can not become an independent human being. For example, it is reported that once an infant baby, whose parents were both idiots, was placed into a pigsties and raised with other small pigs till she was four years old. After finding the child, people discovered she was totally lost the abilities of talking and eating in common ways, by virtue of her lack of experience. On balance, we can not ignore the huge effects of the knowledge from our daily and usual experience, which accumulated from our birth to our death. (There might be more examples should prove that knowledge studied from the experience is vital, however,) the importance of the knowledge originate from different sorts of books outweighed.
Nowadays, our world is prevailing with advanced and changeable knowledge, which can hardly be acquired through individual efforts, and we are ready to get all kind of knowledge at any time. Thus, how to (obtaining a large amount of knowledge in an easy way is a crucial problem for all of us, such as students, scientists and officials). Numerous books, at this moment, came up to show their values. For example, leaving out the assistance of books, I can not do well in this examination, for the books concluded all the possible mistakes and problems student will have, so that I can easily discover my own shortages and improve it.  Moreover, as the development of the libraries over the cities and the countryside, in every corner of our country, we can find a comfortable and bright place surrounded with books in plenty and in diversities. Therefore, to stay in a campus library with air conditioning, and reading some history books that were required by one of your assignment essay is definitely a better choice than other methods.
In one word, absolutely, there should be necessities for us to gain knowledge from experience, such as some basic skills like walking, talking and swimming. Another more primary source of knowledge are books, which is the key factor for our obtaining the useful information we need everyday, and not need to say, to get knowledge from books is a more convenient way.

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