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关于TOEFL作文逻辑思维的问题,我诚恳向老师求教

关于TOEFL作文逻辑思维的问题,我诚恳向老师求教

最近准备TOEFL作文,发现自己很难下笔,不是因为语言的原因,而是不知道自己该写什么好,思维桎梏,感觉很恐怖。

从小到大,我们练习中文写作都是从“一般性事实的阐述”到“事实归纳整理”,最后得到概念的定义与作结。但是TOEFL作文完全背离勒这样的模式,或者说英文写作的思维和我们得传统思维全然不一,总是感觉自己无从下笔,不知道说什么好,行文思路非常困难。

按照TOEFL作文中经典五段论三理由要点来构思,我勉强能将其列出,但是内容一点也不充实,非常得空洞,同样的意思翻来覆去的说半天,越搅越糊,我想以07年12月15日真题为例,希望老师能够给我些帮助,实在感激不尽。
Agree or disagree ?
Is it important for student to understand ideas and concepts than learn facts??

此题我依老师上课所讲,先列Brainstorming,然后写出 outline 。可是我发现这两个我写得完全一样,根本没有任何的区分,因为感觉能写的东西实在太少勒。

Brainstorming:
—disgree:  1. understanding of ideas and con, is based on specefic stuff.
            2. objective-facts   subjectiveideas and con.
              3. ideas and con.不总是对的(personally preferences)。while: facts-√
                4. ideas and con. 学起来巨无聊。  facts有点意思。Interesting.
         Theoretical learing 不一定都是真理。但是facts learing 都是不可改变的东西。

我的Brainstorming:就是这样,我绞尽脑汁全部罗列。但是具体写提纲时我却混沌了。说不清楚,真的,感觉特别说不清楚。道理得叙述加之简单得事例,这个模式我懂,但是实施起来非常费劲。

总之就是感觉没什么话好说。主题句勉强可以罗列,但是要想将内容丰富却不觉得容易了。
老师,这样的情况怎么办好呢!?

还有一个问题,就是我在准备的过程中发现并不是所有的题目都是能支持一方的观点的,这样的话文章也实在不好写,两面论了。请问老师这该如何啊?

下面是我写的一篇文章,third point 我感觉就是胡凑出来的,一点都不扎实。该题是2007.11.17的真题。希望老师能帮我看看,学生不胜感激。

2007.11.17Agree or disagree?
The ability to read and to write is more important than it was in the past?

With exponential leaps of society and economy, there are a increasing number of information existing every-corner of world.  In order to keep the pace with period that is in high-speed developing track, people are expected to spare no efforts to enhance their ability to read and to write.  There is no denying fact that writing skill and reading skill are all significance to a person.  Thus, I am on the side that the ability to read and to write has been playing a more important role than it was in the past in this information-explosion age.

Firstly, modern society owned numerous information and materials that need to be comprehended, and luckily, it is necessary for us that we are manage countless things by means of reading and writing abilities.  A person who lives in modern society gets useful information through many channels such as newspapers, TV sets, Internet and so on, with ability to read and to write. Compared with old days, however, rapid growth of information asks people to emphasize affects of ability to read and write.

Secondly, communication among the people is more frequently than before.  People tend to learn valuable things from others, which is not anything but image in the past.  Due to living in a small surrounding, in the past, people have little of opportunities to acknowledge stuff what is far away from them.  The approach of obtaining information is so limit that they needn’t get further skills.  Nowadays, we can not emphasize the importance of the ability to read and to write too much.

Last but not least, we should set a great store to develop ability to read and to write, which is a significant symbol that stands for a person’s basic literate skills.  Traditionally speaking, the ability to read and write is more representative than other skills, in spite of the fact that we don’t renounce the importance of other skills such as speaking and listening. Examples are available everywhere. In our country, there are so many composition competitions, which predict that literature skill has been put into priority. On contrast, I rarely heard that any exhibitions or matches about speaking or listening to be hold.

All in all, processing pace of society requested us to make the best of time to develop the ability to read and to write. It is conceivable that ability of it have a great influence on our development. The flip of my preference reflect that how important of it to us.  We are not lives in the past any more, it is reasonable for me, who approving of it, that the ability to read and to write are still in dominate place.

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I try to give my some ideas about your problem, actually this is not only for you, but for many Chinese students because we lack systematic training of logical writing, that is to say, our ways of thinking often differ from those of American Ss.
It isn't wrong that you repeat or reiterate your points in your artical but pay more attention to the organization of it.
You can  give presuppositions, like" if we do it, we'll...or if we fail to do it , it will be the opposite," sth like that.
And examples are always helpful to enrich your aritcals even though they are made up by you.
The most important I think is that we all should read more model writings and  practice writing by our own as well.

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The layout of your artical: Is it important to read and write than in the past?
is clear and the third supporting detail, I think, can stand.

注意一个表达:不是oppotunity to knowledge 而是有更多获得知识的渠道 have more accesses to the latest knowledge.

Generally, the whole artical is well writen except for some minor grammatical errors.

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但是,有些问题上我感觉是站不住脚的,这样写下去思路会变得很混乱啊^^

还有一些作文是需要两面论的,而我们经常被要求写绝对坚持一方面立场的作文在这类题目上也显得捉襟见肘..

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回复 3# 的帖子

谢谢老师的批复.谢谢

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菜鸟意见

感觉楼主可以尝试把文章写的开放一些, 自由一些,奔放一些,感觉有点拘谨,S.Y老师说过TOEFL ibt写作自由度极大  其中包括:文体多样;写作观点不重要,skill重要; 陈述可以避重就轻;根据自己观点合理发挥创造等等(记得6点有点忘 望S.Y看到能帮我补上)楼主可以尝试在introduction 加一些 Quotation 来提高说服力. 而firstly 一段中的例子A person who lives in modern society ......有些空洞 可以加入some personal experience
比如 take my best friend XXX for example........具体的例子加入一些 examples and details 来说明论点
文章就厚实了,就有逻辑,也有东西可写了! 楼主的例子大多一句话,没什么说服力.  建议楼主可以准备一些名人的例子,物理学家霍金我觉得比较适合这篇文章,  霍金totally 的没有 the ability of writing and saying,在过去科学还不够发达的时候估计这小孩也就费了~~呵呵~~ 而且如果准备好了这个例子还可以用到其它文章中, For instance, Do you agree or disagree the following statement? One should never judge a person by external appearances. 所以就可以减轻一些准备写作考试的任务量,对吧
鄙人不才 寥寥几行 仅供参考.

[ 本帖最后由 qifeihu 于 2008-3-15 18:23 编辑 ]

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这个问题我也是很头痛,不过我在结合范文以及自己的写作修改一点点推进

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此帖已被收进<托福写作课堂精品贴子汇总(同步更新)>的精品互批版块中, 望楼主继续努力.

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太好了。非常谢谢老师哈

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